Before moving to the American States of Happy Freedom, I had heard many stories about your water. "Spit-nasty", they said, "clam cola and all the fixings - complete dread." I must say that I now agree! Everywhere I see the fur of the young ones turned black, or worse : thesunburnsmyeyesbecauseitisveryunhappywith me yellow!
And it has shrunken all of your clothes! The poor boy-mens' man-cleavers bear-hugged by fabric! Your water has surely shrunken their trousers to the size of womens'! Now they must all wear hooded blouses because their garments do not fit. The frightened lettering on them run to the sides of their chests to hide, for fear of being taken away in the night by The Liquid Gestapo! The sadlings have grown the banged forefronts of their heads over their eyes to hide their shame.
Meanwhile, all of your women have become orange, irradiated by the hate-fluid! Their clothes have shrunken away completely! Their wrinkled flesh-blankets cry out for liberation!
Your day is coming, hydrating oppressor; it is coming soon!
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